stlbites.com – st. louis food blog of bill burge

Excuse me, where is the restroom?

Jan 25, 2008 restaurants

As this is a food blog I could do the appropriate thing and tell you all about my dinner last week at Araka. Perhaps I could even write about the meal I ate there a couple days before Christmas, and how in both those meals, while I definitely ate some good things, I ate a couple flawed dishes as well.

Instead, however, I want to talk to you about something we can all relate to. From the pickiest of gourmands to the diners thrilled each time McDonald’s brings back the McRib, I’m talking about bathrooms — everybody needs them.

If you frequent enough restaurants, even if you’re one of those people that can only take care of the business on your home throne, sooner or later there comes a need that can not wait; one that sends you on an embarrassing quest in search of the restroom.

You hope in these situations that the bathroom will maintain the same level of quality as the rest of the restaurant. And sometimes — hopefully not often — in certain restaurants you cross your fingers and pray to the god you may or may not believe in that the bathroom is maybe even a touch better than the rest of the joint.

This retro throwback, for instance, is from a bathroom I was recently faced with. It’s been along time since I’ve see one of these babies, and when you go toe-to-toe with one, you really do have to ask yourself: is it maybe more sanitary to not wash my hands?

It was a question I pondered long enough upon entering the bathroom that I had time to snap the picture while coming up with my game plan, but fear not, I did wash them — before drying them on my pants!

While not dirty in anyway there are also restaurants where the bathrooms just don’t meet your expectations not because they’re dirty, but because they’re a bit run down in comparison to the vibe the rest of the place is going for.

I know it’s because it’s technically the hotel’s, but on my last visit, with a steel trashcan complete with a kicked in dent, An American Place is a pretty good example of a bathroom that’s awfully worn down compared to the opulence of the restaurant it’s attached to. Plus, with lighting so bright compared to the restaurant that it’s like walking straight into the sun, they go for a double by adding another bathroom flaw.

Certainly I don’t mean to suggest dimmed lighting to cover up the sins of an unclean bathroom, but is there anything more jarring then walking from a dark restaurant into a disproportionately bright restroom?

There are also flukes; places where the bathrooms are particularly nice compared to the restaurant you’re in.

Stellina Pasta Cafe is one of these places. Not that their restaurant isn’t nice, but it has a mild identity crisis as it sits in limbo between order-at-the counter fast food and casual upscale dining. Yet they have one of the nicest restaurant bathrooms in St. Louis.

The first thing that hits you is that they have one of those fancy vessel sinks with the spout and handles that come right out of the wall. On the floor and wall they have a great deal of detailed tile work that looks like someone definitely spent some serious time on that bathroom.

They also have really nice towels to dry your hands with. That might not seem like a big deal, but who hasn’t dined at Niche and noticed they use actual cloth towels instead of paper towels? While unnecessary, it’s a touch of class that does not go unnoticed.

As you can see, like most things, this is something I’ve considered more than the average person, and not one to hold back an opinion, the obvious question is: Where do these exquisite shrines to your public needs await?

Truffle’s is one example of a really rockin’ bathroom. Although it’s another story entirely I worked there for about thirty days around the time they first opened. Easily containing a top contender for the 7 wonders of the men’s bathroom world, they have one of the urinals from the original American Theater. And it’s no ordinary toilet as it’s absolutely the biggest I have ever seen. Standing about five feet tall I would describe it as art deco, and as I recall, the whole thing was carved from a solid chunk of marble stretching from about my upper chest all the way down to the floor. Smaller men could just step right in, and children, forget about it — play it safe and send them to the stall because they would surely be swept away.

But of course the real point of this is that Araka’s bathroom…it’s slammin!

From the moment you grab the door handle and its interesting texture strikes you as you pull it open, to the moment you exit realizing that as cool as it looked on outside it’s nothing compared to it’s warm glow within, when David Schefer Design was designing Araka they didn’t stop in the front of the house — oh no — they took the vibe right on into the oft-overlooked but always necessary bathroom.

Inside walls are lined with sleek masculine tile, and beautiful wooden stall doors are outfitted with shiny chrome handles that (thanks to my TLC vocab) really pop.

And “sinks” are a thing of the past. Illuminated from the direct lighting above, water simply runs down the sloped contours of textured sea foam green glass where it collects in a shiny metallic trough running the length of wall.

And so, with even the choice of soap seeming deliberate as the neon orange liquid glows from within, in the world of restaurant facilities, if I’m handing out stars, Araka’s bathroom is a true five star affair.

Tags: An American Place, Araka, bathrooms, restrooms, Stellina-Pasta-Cafe, Truffles